On my drive to school each day I am greeted by a duck. Her mottled tan feathers and slender body blend into the rock and grass making each time I see her a surprise. While this does not seem out of the ordinary considering the nearby river, driving down a dirt road and veering to save the ducky seems a bit odd. There is no consistent body water out this way and while I suppose she could have a nest in the tall grasses, she appears to have no mate.
I have decided anthropomorphism is the route to go though and so she has been named Dolores. I like the alliteration in the name Dolores the Duck; it feels nice on my tongue. Each day I see her it is very nice. She always comes waddling across the road taking her time, yet when she feels me coming she picks up the pace to dive into the ditch. She is then hidden in the swaying grasses and I motor on.

Also, I saw this morning a bunny. Normally they are sitting up and ready to leap away at the slightest movement or noise, yet this one was stretched out, fully stretched out, with its adorable head resting on its little paws. Needless to say, the addition of this fuzzy creature made the start of my day pleasant as well.

When I Was One-and-Twenty

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say ,
"Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free."
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
"The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sigh a plenty
And sold for endless rue."
And I am two-and-twenty
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.

A.E. Housman 1896

It is such a beautiful experience when literature can reach out to you in a way that opens your eyes and your heart to it. This poem, along with Doris Lessing's 'To Room Nineteen," have been cornerstone works for me this past week. Wrestling with intellectual versus emotional responses and creating a new lens through which I can look at the world becomes exhausting, yet these have rejuvenated me.

Mattie's Awesome Songs on Compact Disc Volume 1

Well I had all of the greatest intentions of just making a quick CD to play in the car while driving though town. I really detest the radio and the songs which belch across its FM waves, so I stick to my own mix of music.

I have been in need of some really uplifting, even empowering, music to make each car ride that much more enjoyable. Plus, I'm going on this secret trip in a few days and will need some music to play on my pretty dopI while in the airport
.
I began the creation by looking through some of the great songs I already have, but then after listening to a few songs on Pandora I knew I needed more! A few clicks later I have bought multiple albums and numerous individual songs. The newest additions to my collection include: The Birthday Massacre,Feist, Faux Liage, Anna Nalick, Kate Nash, Sia, Crystal Castles, Emillie Autumn, Massive Attack, Ingrid Michaelson, and Holly Brooke to name a few.

I am very happy with the variety and am looking forward to taking my next drive, but for now I'll listen to it while I wrap up some reading.

shout out to Jessica!

So I have the sweetest friend ever. I think this might even place her in favorite status ;)
I get into work and reach into my mailbox only to find this wonderful surprise!

I am frightened by how quickly a person can be moved out, deleted, and cleared away from a life. Is three years that insignificant? Am I that insignificant?

Logically I understand, and even accept, the place I am in right now, but my heart, oh my heart, cannot catch up. Does a heart ever stop being in love with someone?
I understand that the deep love I feel will fade with time to care yet, when my mind has rationalized but my heart still breaks it makes gaining my footing, gaining a sense of my self, feel like a snake eating its tail.

Each day I learn more about my self and grow into someone new. I work to find the joy in the day, even if it is only minor. I am becoming me outside of someone. I am investing time in what makes me happy. I will be happy. I will be me.

Oh I am so excited for my secret trip! In only a few days I will be off. I have no idea where I will be going, but the dress code requires swimsuits and high heels. Luckily I just bought the cutest pair of platform wedges--just look at the flowers!!!

And then I went a little crazy with the travel sized toiletries... I was pulled into the sacred travel aisle of mini products with the intention of only buying the small, empty bottles to fill with my own products.Yet, the bitty bounty filling the metal baskets with everything from floss to detergent called to me. I purchased a tiny face scrub, lotion, mouse, and even this cute kit which included a toothbrush and miniature toothpaste. Its not that I do not already have these items for daily use, but the tiny size makes them irresistible.
There is something truly satisfying about seeing everyday objects in miniature--take a look at the cake's mini: the cupcake. Who can resist a cupcake?! Its only a few bites of moist,dense cake with sweet,smooth frosting to make for a deliciously small treat :)
I was able to justify buying $10 of bath products with the rational that we will taking the luggage as carry-on so that way my chances of being profiled as a threat to the plane are minimized. Not that I am well versed in bomb making, but I would hate for the exfoliating properties of the scrub to combine with the curl booting power of the mouse resulting in a chemical explosion!

Greetings dolly,
Here are just a few of my favorite things in life right now--mostly including flowers and flowy, organic movement in contrast to the geometric appealing to me in the most basic way. It all makes me want to have a twilight soiree on a patio with paper lanterns and humming crickets :)